Мотивационное письмо на английском

[LadyLara]

Доброго времени суток !

Моя подруга собирается поступать и пишет мотивационное письмо и проект на английском. У меня с английским не очень. Может быть, кто-то может покритиковать ? Заранее спасибо !

Dear Sir, Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in the Intensive Diploma in International Management. Looking to acquire and practice the managerial skills necessary for successful performance in tourism industry, this program appears to be a wonderful fit with my professional experience, personal interests, and career goals.
I already have an academic background with my Master Degree in Services & Tourism (University of Saint-Petersburg, Russia), as well as a solid track record of executive know-how. Throughout my 6 years of professional experience as a communication/event manager in a major French group, I have obtained a proper understanding of international operations, client approach and creative management. Now I am familiar with planning and supervising multicultural projects and have the ability to implement effective enhancements for corporate image. However, while these years have given me invaluable experience, I believe that I have reached a plateau in developing skills necessary to achieve my ultimate career goal.

Today I would like to move back to my first passion - the tourism & hospitality industry. I have always been a passionate person whose biggest desire is the overcoming of challenges. I feel that now is the right time to face another professional defy and going to international hospitality school definitely represents that challenge.

After weeks of research, your school was my preferred choice for various reasons. First of all, your school is ranked among the top hospitality schools worldwide. I’m sure that it’s a result of high quality programs integrating Swiss quality hospitality education and its virtues of excellence, rigour, tradition and innovation.
The hotel industry is one of the most intercultural sectors in the world and I believe that at your school I will develop an ability to work in multicultural environment, to learn how to deal with different cultures, working and studying with students from over 60 nationalities.
Finally, as your program delivers both essential theoretical bases and practice in an international hospitality establishment, it represents a solid step towards my future career. In fact, I believe that professional experience is just as crucial as the rigorous academic study. Thanks to the 6-month internship I’ll have the chance to put into practice the theoretical knowledge and to face real work situations.
For all these reasons I see the Postgraduate Intensive Diploma in International Hotel Management as a wonderful next step for me in attaining my ambitions.
I thank you for the opportunity to submit this application for your consideration. I look forward to communicating with you in the near future.
Thank you for your time and consideration,

Faithfully,

[Рыжая]

Доброго времени суток !

Моя подруга собирается поступать и пишет мотивационное письмо и проект на английском. У меня с английским не очень. Может быть, кто-то может покритиковать ? Заранее спасибо !

[

LadyLara,

Очень хорошее письмо, написано носителем, она его явно где-то стырила Все очень хорошо, но имейте, пожалуйста, в виду две вещи:

В английском, в отличие от французского, обращение Dear Sir, Madam недопустимо. Оно звучит невежливо и выдает, что человек пишет на деревню дедушке. В идеале обязательно надо узнать (выгуглить) фамилию адресата и по ней обращаться - Dear Mr. Brown или Dear Ms. Brown (никогда Mrs., только Ms.!). Если имя ну никак не узнать, допускается обратиться по должности - Dear Director, например. Но если это школа, то там наверняка должно быть имя. Если из имени не понять, дяденька директор или тетенька, то можно обратиться так (например): Dear Director Robin Brown,

И заключение тоже - Faithfully сейчас мало кто говорит, лучше закончить Yours sincerely,

А в целом все пучком. И хорошо даже, что оно длинное - производит серьезное впечатление. Удачи!

[LadyLara]

Спасибо огромное!!!
Я скажу ей обе ваши ремарки
А можно вдогонку и проект показать?

[Daria_microb]

Оно звучит невежливо и выдает, что человек пишет на деревню дедушке.

я думаю, речь идет о приемной комиссии, о нескольких людях, которые будут смотреть досье..что можно написать в этом случае?

спасибо

[LadyLara]

Post study plan. Как я поняла, тут она пишет, чем планирует заниматься в будущем.

The hospitality business is the worlds’ fastest growing industry. Its dynamics brings increasing competition, changing customers’ needs and demands, emerging new markets and an increasing number of people with international travel experience.

All the luxury hotels offer today high level services of catering, accommodation and security. But nowadays hotels are much more than merely a place to sleep. Supplementary services, personal approach and innovation make the difference in the market and attract clients.
In line with the above, a top hotel manager will have not only to meet guests’ expectations, but also exceed them. I believe your Intensive Postgraduate program is a very important step for my career development mostly because of considerable attention paid to professional skills that will help me to develop the right attitude for the industry. Attention given to tactic and strategic management, in areas like design and facilities, accounting and finance, event and marketing are the keys competences for an international hotel manager.
After finishing my studies, in order to gain first-hand experience of the industry and to achieve a client-oriented approach, I would like go to Latin America and to work at an international hotel chain, such as at Hyatt, Hilton or Marriott as an event manager creating innovative services and events, where my communication skills, multicultural profile and event experience will be quite beneficial.

My long-term goal is to move up the ladder and become the General Manager of the hotel that I am going to work for. I would love to make focus on innovation, such as development of new hospitality concepts and implementation of new technologies.

Personalize the hotel room thanks to the mobile phone, get a pair of personalized sneakers instead of classical bathroom slippers (Indigo hotels), spend a night in an art gallery with more than 6500 art objects (Omni Dallas Hotel), give your children classes of contemporary politic (Bellevue Bern Palace), take classes of opera singing o classical music (Rocco Forte’s Savoy & Academia Europea de Firenze), organize a picnic on the New York city’ building rooftop (Aka Central Parc hotel) … and even walking a real lion without any leash (Protea Hotel Ranch Resort)…. I believe that guests are looking for an experience and want to be surprised and pampered, and their wishes are changing all the time.

From this, my professional goal is to participate in the hotel conception and to develop the innovative services to help to hotel to find its identity. I already contacted some Hotel Groups to confirm my idea about the importance of this mission and they reaffirmed my career choice.

I would like to combine creative ideas with more structured general marketing skills to deliver innovative products that will be profitable for a hospitality institution. With the hotel management skills and experiences that I will gain from your school and my future workplace, I am confident that I will be a successful hotel manager. I hope my determinate and dynamic nature, ability to work in team and passion for the tourism and hospitality will also help me to do this position better.

[Рыжая]

я думаю, речь идет о приемной комиссии, о нескольких людях, которые будут смотреть досье..что можно написать в этом случае?

спасибо

Тогда можно использовать формулу Dear Admissions Committee.

[Рыжая]

Post study plan. Как я поняла, тут она пишет, чем планирует заниматься в будущем.

LadyLara, все классно. Я в отельном деле не специалист, но она явно молодец.

[Daria_microb]

Тогда можно использовать формулу Деар Адмиссионс Цоммиттее.

спасибо!

[Рыжая]

спасибо!

Daria_microb, на здоровье!

[LadyLara]

Рыжая, спасибо вам огромное-преогромное !!! =)

[Рыжая]

Рыжая, спасибо вам огромное-преогромное !!! =)

LadyLara, не за что!