Требуется покритиковать перевод

[rufina]

Добрый день всем форумчанам.

Покритикуйте, пожалуйста, кто может текст на английском.
Перевожу с французского.

Спасибо заранее.

Саша.

[rufina]

Sir,

I’m writing you being an advocate for Mr. William Davis in concern of the difficulties born from the contract of lease that you offered to him relating to the real estate property belonging to you and situated 934, avenue

I consider that it is necessary to remind that the aforementioned contact was concluded in the United States on the presentation of the real estate property by the company ”5 stars destinations” via it’s Internet site.

Under the terms of this presentation, there was mentioned an elevator serving the 4 flours of the villa described in following terms:

An eight-person, hotel specification hydraulic elevator provides access to all four levels. Direct access to the pool from the penthouse suite, is a feature by itself. The elevator is part of the design that renders the villa disables-friendly.

However, arriving at the place with his family, Mr. Davis had an unpleasant surprise to find out that the size of the elevator is very reduced, rather far from being able to allow the transport of eight persons contrary to what was announced.

This problem is worsen by the fact that the existing staircase does not provide the access to all levels of the building. Thus, the only possibility to reach the fourth level of the building is to take this inconvenient because of it’s reduced size elevator.

Moreover, the staircase, in the open air is located outside the house.

The spouse of Mr. Davis had informed you about these difficulties which do not allow to appreciate the property in the manner it should be, especially taking in consideration the monthly price fixed at …. Euros.

In answer you stated that you had put this villa in the lease because of your displacement abroad, and that you did not intend to allow its occupation, only for a few days, the time for Mr. Davis to find an another accommodation, taking into account his expressed wish not to remain in the place.

[mozartV]

Dear Sir:

As a representative of Mr. William Davis, I’m writing to you in respect of the difficulties that arise from the contract of lease that you offered to him, relating to the real estate property that belongs to you, located at 934 … avenue

I consider it necessary to remind you that the aforesaid contact was concluded in the United States upon the presentation of the real estate property by the 5 Stars Destinations company via its Internet site.

The aforsaid presentation mentioned an elevator serving the 4 floors of the villa, described in the following terms:

"According to the hotel specification, a hydraulic elevator with an eight-person capacity provides access to all four levels. A direct access to the pool from the penthouse suite is a feature by itself. The elevator is a part of the villa's handicapped-friendly design".

However, Mr Davis, upon his arrival at the place with his family, was unpleasantly surprised to find the size of the elevator, contrary to what had been announced, considerably smaller than would be required to accomodate and transport eight persons.

This problem is aggravated by the fact that the existing staircase does not provide access to all the levels of the building. The only way to reach the fourth level of it is by the elevator, which is inconvenient because its size is smaller than was promised.

Moreover, the staircase is mounted on the outside of the building, in the open air.

The spouse of Mr. Davis informed you about these difficulties, which do not allow to appreciate the property in the appropriate manner, especially considering the monthly lease payments of …. Euros.

You replied that you had allowed this villa to be leased out because of your absence while traveling abroad and that you had not intended to allow it to be occupied for just a few days that Mr. Davis needs to find another accommodation. In the meantime, Mr. Davis expressly wishes not to occupy the place any longer.